Men’s Beauty Standards: What Is Toxic About It and What We Need to Do
What makes a guy “attractive”? Some of us may have the idea of what the ideal attractive man looks like. Of course, beauty is subjective. As they say, “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. Not only that, there are also so many factors that come into play when it comes to define what beauty is, such as culture, time of living, location, and country. However, with the rise of social media and how rapidly connected we are through the internet, certain male beauty standards are rising. From the hyper masculine ideal guy that Hollywood usually represents to the soft masculine guy that K-Pop represents. These beauty standards are being used to judge someone whether he fits the ideal attractive type of person or not, and sometimes, it can be toxic and harmful.
Why is it toxic?
Firstly, some of the male beauty standards are, most of the time, unrealistic and hardly achievable. To achieve the “perfect” body type that the media show us, we need to live through a certain rigorous and unhealthy lifestyle. For example, the idealization of South Korean pop culture dominating in most Asian countries has helped redefine ideal male beauty standards, primarily in Asia, and there is a huge emphasis on visuals and aesthetics. The fair, clean, white skin with a soft face and tall toned body is deemed as attractive to this beauty standard. What they are doing to keep their body “perfect” is sometimes achieved through a painful strict diet that usually consists of eating below the average amount of calories that humans need with hours and hours of working out. That’s why it’s common to see these idols fainting when they are performing live. It is also the same case as in Hollywood where actors are given strict diets with no carbs and to dehydrate themselves for several days before shooting, only to keep the muscular body.
Then, these beauty standards are sometimes also being used to justify the so-called toxic masculinity. Men are being dictated to only be able to wear a certain kind of clothes, dress, color, etc. otherwise they are not seen as “masculine”. If you see a man wearing crop top with skirt and make-up, people will see him as weird. Even tough, the crop top was actually popular fashion among men in the 80s to 90s; in some cultures, men wear something similar to skirts, like kilts from Scotland; and the ancient Egyptian men wore make-up as a sign of masculinity. I even have had my share of experiences where people told me to the face that I can’t wear my headset because it is pink, to which I responded, “Shut the f**k up”. It proves how male beauty standards are influenced by our societal norms and expectations.
Next, the pressure of idealized male beauty standards could create various mental health problems towards men. Men and boys have been struggling with low self-esteem and depression because of their poor body image, which is one of the important aspects in male beauty standards. Men usually receive comments about their body such as “why are you so fat?” or “wow, you’re so skinny”. My friend even had told me that I look so skinny, the wind could pick up my body like a flying kite — mind you it was funny, and I laughed, although I can understand that it can be seen as harmful for others. This review states that someone with body image issues will often end up avoiding social contact, and their insecurities end up affecting their interaction with other people.
What we need to do?
We need to destigmatized mental health and body image issues for men and boys. It is much easier to brush off these issues, which leads toward a lot of men being confused and scared to be open about their feelings so they will repress their emotions. Do not be scared to talk about it or ask for help, you will not be less than a man if you do so.
And remember, there is no certain way to look. We need to start to appreciate many different types of bodies of men and how they express themselves. There is nothing wrong about having a body, face, acne scars. There is nothing wrong about you wanting to wear something pink, paint your nails, or wear make-up. And there is no such a thing as a perfect body and whatever your body type, shape, and the shade of color of your skin tone is, you are still worthy of being accepted as a person.
This is my second essay for my university assignment. Sorry, if there are any mistakes. Still learning!